What are my choices?

he asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

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What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped."

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

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When does 2-1=0 ?

When you're talking about choices.

What's a bear's preferred weapon of choice?

A Grrrrrrrrrrrnade!

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How many trains have you derailed to date?

I replied "It's hard to keep track."

What's a holocaust?

And I reply "Oh, about eleven million"