What did she say about me?

Friend: She said you ask too many questions Me: She said that Too many questions Really Me ...What else

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What light through yonder window breaks?

ME:Well if you'd just sod off like I asked, I wouldn't have to throw lamps at you.

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

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How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

How much credibility is there in that whole "you can punch yourself handsome" theory?

Asking for a friend.

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When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

What was the question?

Son: "Who's farted"