What do you call a guy that's lost his car?

Carlos

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Why did the guy take his (computer) tablet to the cemetery?

Because it was dead.

What is something that basically stops when you stare at it, but flys by when you dont?

There are two answere: Time and Boo (from Mario games). Just made this joke up what do you guys think

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What did Carlos the fireman name his twin newborn sons?

Jose and Hose B.

What is a Spanish person without a car called?

Carlos