What is the best thing about gaffer tape ?

It turns "no, no, no" into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

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What do you call a symphony where everyone plays at the same time instead of taking turns?

An chestra.

Why did the kittens turn atheist?

Coz their eyes opened.

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What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?

The execution

What's the best thing about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here.

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What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

Why ya going to the airport?

Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?" : "How'd you guess?" : "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?" : "Aspen." : "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."