What's your five-year goal?

Me: Paid administrative leave.

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How does a dog catcher gets paid?

by the pound.

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face..... :D eh. Eh.?

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How many have you derailed this year?

I replied, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?

How many did it take last year