What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

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How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

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What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio?

Leonardo DiCabrio