What do you call a deaf chick in bed?

Anything you want

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What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

He said "Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

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What word begins with "N" and ends in "R" that I wouldn't want to call a black guy?

Neighbor.

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.