A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
G- Pretty well, Do you want me to walk you back? B- walk me back? G- to the friendzone you just tried to escape.
A philosophy student asks you you want fries with that
It doesn't want anyone to find The Cure.
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
The Significant Others just want babies.
Heairs.
The husband.
All white, all white, all white.
He wasn't a charitable guy
Paradise.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out.
Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke
Outlaws are wanted people
A high-jacker.
He didn't want any beef.
They want to look like their mothers.
Well, you want them to work, don't you?
Irrelevant.
they wanted to restore the CNNomies
Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?
I want my Nickleback....
Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want.
Polly want a Cracker.
Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow
Because they're curious and want to learn. And that's why you don't see many black scientists.
He wanted to be with his family.
They wanted to go to the mooo....vies
Skip to my loo.
Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."
He didn't want to get carpool tunnel syndrome.
Nothing. She's fine.
I want hue.
Because it's more than a ceiling
who wants 2 try?
E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.
Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.
Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"
Grrraaaaiiinnns...
A key.
Wherever it wants to. R.I.P. Harambe
Because he doesn't want to be spotted
Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.
All he wants is Just Ice
GAINZZZZZZ
Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.
He didn't want no scrubs
Whatever you want, he can't hear you..
He wanted to harm monica.
No one wants to be comic sans.
You want flies with that?
E.T learned English and wanted to go home.
She wanted open borders.
Neighbor
I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.
Neighbor!
Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.
Anything you want they're not going to hear you.
Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!
She thought a traditional burial would be too bio-degrading.
They both want to pull 1 over on you.
There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!
Neither want me coming inside them.
Because he wanted to play chicken.
He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
I don't want to put a repost in my mouth
NeinIcant
Dems!
Because he wanted to see his flat mate.
When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"
You know you want it, Honey"
Because he wanted to make $50K per day from ad revenue.
He wanted to speak in tungsten.
Once you Hava Nagila, you'll want another!
Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.
King Kong
A woman wants a man who can satisfy all her needs. A man wants all women who can satisfy his needs.
They hate plaque buildup.
Because they're trying asbestos they can.
He was a cheetah.
It wanted to get off its ash.
The Antelopes.
Because no one on earth wants to buy it.
Because he wanted to... "Get along little doggy"
They didn't want their rooms covered with seamen.
He heard the film had dogfighting scenes
I'll lay down and you can blow the hell out of me!
I want my quarter back!
Because we want to!
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.
Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."
Because sixty-seconds=minute.
It leaves.
Make it Tso's Number One."
Everyone WANTS to be irish on st Patrick's day.
Because they only wanted a little drama.
starbucks
Shorts!
Michael
When do we want 'em? Time machines!
The RE-tardis
He was outstanding in his field.
He was *out standing* in his field.
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake
Tommy Tookalook
Tom ate those.
Punchline
You dye a little on the inside.
No, wait.
Men jiggle the nozzle afterwards.
