What's 16 centimetres long and makes every girl happy?

A 500 bill.

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How old is this girl?

Elementary, my dear Watson."

Why don't girls wear skirts in the winter?

They get chapped lips

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What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error