How about a guillotine?

Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch.

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Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What does the hippie bum say when you tell him he can no longer sleep on your couch?

Namaste

What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch?

Namaste

Guillotine Jokes More Guillotine Jokes

How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

How about a guillotine?

Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch.