How can you tell someone's an atheist?

You can't. They'll always tell you first.

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What are the three fastest forms of communication?

Telephone, telegraph, tell a woman.

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

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How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone knocking at your door for no apparent reason.