How many egocentrics does it take to change a light-bulb?

Me, and only me!

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How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs. A: None the old bulb is just suffering from a cold.

What do you call a book club that hasn't changed their book in a thousand years?

Church

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How many bees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but how do they get in there?

How many Meth-Heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to hold the lightbulb and Two to smoke till the room spins!