Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.
Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:
Because it saw the pillow slip.
Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....
He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...
from my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.
Only two more sleeps until christmas.
Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."
I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.
Tosses them off.
It's fun to toss them down stairs.
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".
