Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.
The sock under my bed.
They're shellfish in bed.
clearly, you wouldn't know...
A metal band
A: Under their covers.
A knight light
Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.
3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about
Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.
Tosses them off.
Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice
