How much for the soulmate?

Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Dorito Jokes More Dorito Jokes

What could Dora the Explorer's kids be called?

Doritos

What do you call someone who worships Doritos?

A chip monk.

Ma'am Jokes More Ma'am Jokes

What was it again ?

Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !

How much for the supermodel?

winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."