What are your best "If I had for every time..." jokes?

Two of my favorites are:

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does an Asian go to the dentist?

Toof Hurty.

Who was the dankest dictator of all time?

LMao Zedong

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

Favorite Jokes More Favorite Jokes

What's Bernie Sanders favorite Christmas Carols?

deck the halls with boughs of free cash

What is Macauley Culkins favorite salad dressing?

Neverland Ranch.