What do you call a baby Matt Damon?

A new-Bourne

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Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'?

A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

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What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

How do you sabotage a space mission ?

Send Matt Damon