What do you call a reckless thief who only steals cooking utensils?

A whisk taker.

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What's the difference between a virtual car and a real one?

You can't steal a real car a few bits at a time

What kind of jeans does mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr