What do you call an Irishman sitting on his veranda?

Patty O'Furniture.

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How did you prepare for today?

red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls?

Rick O'Shea.

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What do you call an Irish woman who stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture

What is Irish and stays on your patio, even when it rains?

Patty O'Furniture.