What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

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What's the good word?

Legs. Spread the word.

Why was the rabbit hopping in circles?

Because I shot its leg off.

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How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."