What do you do if your computer hums?

Tell it to change its socsks!

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke.

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What do you call someone who only tells knock-knock jokes?

A Jehovah's Witness.

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.