What does it take to be a president of Russia?

Be a Viktor, then you are Devinitely In

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How do you call a USB stick in Russia?

A put-in

Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

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Where does the President keep his armies?

In his Baracks

Why should we elect Gabe Newell as President of the United States?

So there won't be a World War III.