What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters?

Jesus may actually return some day.

What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?

Well, the cross was a big plus

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Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

What does Johnny Depp say when cutting down trees?

TIMBUUUUUUUURTON