Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

He couldn't remove three nails to save his life

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How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life?

He found a lump on his testicle.

What do you call Protestants who want to save a dime?

Econoclasts.

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Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed?

He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral.

How did the coprophilic marine respond when asked what the most important thing in life was?

Duty. Honor.

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What car does Jesus drive?

A Chrysler

What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride?

A Cruci-fixie.

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Why didn't Jesus get into college?

Because he got nailed on the boards.

What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it!"

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What does Hillary's emails and a racist post have in common?

removed

How do Buddhist monks send emails?

They remove all attachments.

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Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

He couldn't remove three nails to save his life

Why do rappers make bad carpenters?

Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches.