What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

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How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Why did you leave us so early?

He is asked why are you so crying Do you cry about your close relative -No, I am crying about the first husband of my wife.

Neckbeard Jokes More Neckbeard Jokes

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

Weekend Jokes More Weekend Jokes

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.