What gets louder if you enter it from one end, but quieter if you enter it from the other?

A howler monkey.

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How was my engagement the same as my divorce?

In the end, I settled.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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Why shouldn't you enter into a contract with Wolverine?

Because of his retractable clause.

Why hasn't Joe entered the race yet?

He's just Biden his time.