What is the driest soda you can buy?

Baking soda.

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Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How much do you pay to buy corn from a pirate?

You pay a buccaneer.

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Why do chefs put so much effort into baking cakes?

Because you only get out what you pudding.

What do you call someone who gets stoned and baked?

A witch.