What professional hates going to the bar?

A lawyer

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Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What is the ideal weight for a lawyer?

About 3 pounds, including the urn.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum?

With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'