What's a a magician's favorite kind of coffee?

100% abracadabra

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Who makes coffee for the U.N.?

The French Press Secretary!

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

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Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.