What's better than watching a woman wrestle?

Seeing her box.

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Why couldn't a kid watch a pirate movie?

Because it was rated R.

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Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz