What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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What do emos say at good parties?

It slit.

What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address?

Because he's dead.

What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge?

I set* ***who*** *free "*