Which day is the most agreeable?

Yesterday

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What happened to sneaking out and getting drunk in the woods?

Teenagers these days be all "I hate you mom I'm joining ISIS."

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

Why can't you trick an aborted fetus?

It wasn't born yesterday

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)