Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

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Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?

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Why do Communists only write in lowercase?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Why did the feminist fail in programming?

She hated objectification.

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Why don't you trust me?

she texted both the guys simultaneously.

How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute