Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the difference between a high and drunk driver?

The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.

Where are the kids?

me *turns around and goes back out*

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

Exoplanets Thought that one up myself.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

What do a racist and an apple have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do you stop a woman giving you head?

Marry her.

What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders?

Harry: Help! What is it Fred: Your head!

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

When one gun says to the other, "Damn dude, those are some nice bullets, where'd you get them?

the second gun says, "In some old magazine I found."

What type of gun do time travelers use?

A Clock-18