Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator?

Because they all add up!

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Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans?

Because if you added one more it'd be two farty.

Why didn't the Irishman add another bean?

He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent.

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Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz?

Because they are sold out to crackers!

What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?

McBongald's