Why was the calculator salesman happy when he sold his cheapest calculator?

Because they all add up!

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How do you make a salad wrap?

By adding some beets

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

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Why didn't Beethoven sell his house?

He put it up Fur Elise!

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."