Why won't Bernie Sanders win the rational election?

Because he's two radical.

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How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end?

It was won by a hare!

Why does China hate Digimon Fans?

Because they recognise Ty won

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What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?

Earning Sanders.