What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders?

He quit running.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?

She hated being microbe-managed.

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why shouldn't you use red, white, and blue paint in a watercolor?

Because these colors don't run

How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer?

Dos

Bernie Sanders Jokes More Bernie Sanders Jokes

What did Bernie Madoff say to Bernie Sanders?

I'll take your money!

Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.