Why would a dead girl lie?

Because she can't stand up.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

How can you tell a black person is lying?

His lips are moving.

What's the difference between a car salesman and a technology salesman?

The car salesman knows he is lying.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How do mesquite trees get taller?

They stand on their mesqui-toes!

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."