How are you today?

Me: Tim.

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What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

Why did the sperm cross the road..?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock today....

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What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

What famous person is a huge fan of trees?

Tim ber"ton