How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room?

He will tell you.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's all this?

Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks . . .

How do you confuse Pareto?

Tell him you belong to "the" 20%.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and other to drink until the room spins.

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home?

Got high.

Why was the pilot jealous of the chef?

Because of his ground thyme.