How do narcissists remember everything?

They have a photogenic memory.

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How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.

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How does a Narcissist change a lightbulb?

He holds it up to the socket and the world revolves around him.

How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.