How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

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How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

Her food is potion-controlled.

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

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What do you call a Mexican walking on the moon?

An astronaut you racist..

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.