How does a hipster measure out his drugs?

Using instagrams.

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Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use a bathroom?

The p is silent.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs?

A pharmacist, you racist.

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids