How many questions did the politician answer?

9/11

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What do I do?

Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

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Why didn't you answer me ?

Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !

Where did the apple go when it's parents died?

Answer: To a Bananas foster home.

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What is the only correct answer to the question 'Are you ticklish?

I have explosive diarrhea.

What questioned started the Holocaust?

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?