Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What are your best corny jokes?

I want them all! "What's brown and sticky?" "A stick."

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats a ducks favourite drug?

Quack cocaine

Whats the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?

Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?

Possum: Oh yeah

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

Why do women and children evacuate first in an emergency?

So the men can go on Reddit and repost this joke.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

How does a Range Rover Evoque look after landing on it's roof?

Exactly the same.

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."

Ma'am Jokes More Ma'am Jokes

What was it again ?

Sagittarius, Capricorn - No ma'am, CANCER !

How much for the soulmate?

Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos.