What did a bad teacher tell their wisecracking student?

Don't get smart with me.

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Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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What's an educated hole in the wall?

A: A wisecrack.

What do you call a smart plumber?

A wisecrack.