What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck?

Eggsalad

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How did the hipster burn his fingertips?

He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. rimshot

What do cars and humans have in common?

We both burn gas.

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What is the slogan of the Mormon Church?

We don't care how you bring 'em, just Brigham Young."

Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

A: He wanted to sing higher!