What did number 2 say to number 1?

you're an odd fellow

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What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common?

Their patients are 2'

What's the difference between a baby and a politician?

Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things.

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Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible