What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

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Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Bum Jokes More Bum Jokes

How does an Australian clean is bum?

Bidet, mate.

Why are British anti-smoking PSA's often made by homophobes?

Because they want to prevent people from bumming fags

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.