What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse?

Take me to your Liederkranz.

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What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

What's the best part about bangin' twenty six year olds?

You get to meet Jared Fogel.

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Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?

Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.