What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

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What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

What do you do if life gives you melons?

You're dyslexic.

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What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"